Philippians 2:15 (MSG) "Go out into the world uncorrupted, a breath of fresh air in this squalid and polluted society. Provide people with a glimpse of good living and of the living God. Carry the light-giving Message into the night."
I first want to share my excitement that you found my blog! I think that you will find this a solid read for any of you on the border line of faith. Let me unpack a few things for you first before I begin...
The purpose of this whole idea is two-fold. I want to share with you my journey of salvation from start, to hopefully somewhere near the finish (many years down the road I hope!) Someone once told me that it's important to leave a legacy behind, so perhaps consider this one in the same. The other half of my agenda, I suppose, is to hopefully allow you to discover salvation with me as I am experiencing it. Please understand that my thoughts and feelings expressed in this are raw, real, and personal; especially this entry in particular. I will not claim I have all of the answers to life. When you find the person that does, please put them in contact with me. Ha!_________________________________________________________________________
My story begins long ago at the time I entered this world. I was given up for adoption at birth, and placed in the arms of two very deserving, very loving parents. I didn't know my biological family at the time, as adoptions back in the early 80s was most always kept closed. They named me Christopher, meaning Christ-like, or in the greek Christ-Bearer. Apparently God had already designed my path for me...I gained an adopted sibling when I was 5, who my parents named, Melissa. We were a complete and happy family living in the town of Watauga,TX until 1988. We then migrated north into Keller, where they still live in the same house to this very day.
Growing up, I really had no complaints. I was sheltered from the outside world, and shut out from knowing anything most people would consider "bad". My parents never fought, (At least not in front of us, and to my knowledge not at all) and raised us to have integrity. My adopted family, you see, was probably one of the most tight knit families I've ever seen for how large it is. My Dad was one of 5 kids my Grandparents had, and my strong moral upbringing can be attributed all the way down the Hatchett blood-line. We went on trips together, ate meal after meal together, celebrated birthdays, played little league baseball with my cousin... etc. Life was good.
I suppose you're thinking, "Wow... this guy has had it easy!" Let me assure you, that's far from the truth. Once I began the 5th grade, I started a new school, with a new group of classmates to try and get to learn. Oh, and did I mention that my eyesight failed me in the 4th grade and was perscribed what could have been the ugliest glasses ever produced? haha. This made it a little bit tricky to make many friends, as 5th graders are quite the shallow type.
Now I know you don't quite care for my whole life story, so I'll spare you the ugly details. However, let's just come to an understanding that my teen years included a lot of harassing, being made fun of, lack of interest from the fairer sex, and like most of us, a big dose of teenage awkwardness.
The next several years of my life were spent in the Army. I planned to make it a full blown career, and one day retire with full benefits. However, God had other plans. I injured myself, and found my way back to the civilian world faster than I wanted. I was confused, hurt, bitter, and hating life. Shortly thereafter, I began selling drugs, and going to raves. Days flew by like minutes, Weeks flew by like hours. I was on a fast-paced life straight to the depths of hell. I was best friends with everyone I met (courtesy of ecstacy, which that's a natural side effect) and loved living a "Raver's life." I began learning how to DJ, and found myself locally well-known pretty fast. In my opinion at the time, I had everything. Yet I was drowning at a rapid rate.
The first time I was rescued was when I overdosed at a drug dealer's house. I'm quite sure I was not entirely alive, since I could see myself being loaded onto a stretcher, and put in the back of an ambulance. I was panicked. "Could this be it? This is what death is like? Where is the bright light everyone talked about in the movies? I got saved when I was 8, I should be going to heaven... right?" All these questions flooded my mind, and from nowhere, a voice loud and clear said ....
......"not yet".......
I firmly believe that voice was the very same voice that said "Let there be light..." From then on, I was determined to live on the straight and narrow. One might even say I was scared straight. The pendulum that was my life, had finally began it's ascent from the deepest part of the valley...
...Until my friends called me and begged me to go to the next rave with them. Now I know what you're thinking. "How dumb are you?!" I know. At the time, pretty dumb. But the enemy sucked me right back in to his circus of confusion. Before you knew it, I was on the dance floor with my glow sticks, high out of my mind on no telling what, back to my same old tricks.
My family was mortified, and worried sick about me. They knew what I was doing, but I would never admit that their assumptions were right.
By the time I was 26, I had tried just about every drug there was to try, minus heroin. I remember telling my parents they never had to worry about that, because I am deathly afraid of needles. I had been drunk more times than I could count, and I had my share of women. I was a poster-child for disaster.
... but then there was grace.
I eventually started going to church with a girl I was dating at the time, and it was a hip and trendy church. Not at all like the conservative church I grew up in. The music was good, the messages full of gimmicks to keep my attention, and overall I was just a huge fan of being there. I didn't feel the same spiritual beat-down Sunday after Sunday. They even had church on Saturday so I could sleep in late. I liked this version of church a lot better. Later on that year, shortly before my 27 birthday, I gave my heart to the Lord. I wanted to live a better life. However, reflecting back on that decision, I think I was sold fire insurance rather than a true salvation. How many of us have been there before? Yet, at the time, I was at peace with God finally.
I began volunteering in my church, which eventually lead to a paid staff position. I was finally feeling like I found my place in life! Not only that, but God answered a true miracle through the power of the internet, and allowed my biological mother to track me down and send me an email. We eventually talked, and even met up! I got to meet her and her husband, and then she took me to meet my biological Grandparents, who I later found out remained living at the same house they lived in since I was born. They had hopes that one day, a young man would come knocking on their door full of questions. Sweet huh?
So, as I was saying, my life was REALLY starting to come together. I quickly fell in love with media, and found my niche as a camera operator. I had felt like God had finally answered my question regarding what I was supposed to do with my life.
Then, like a thief in the night, my world got shaken when I was told my church was laying me off. I mean, how can a church with a multi-million dollar annual operating budget need to lay people off? Am I not supposed to be serving in ministry? Is this his whole plan all along? To give me a taste of heaven, and take it away? I was furious. I decided at that point that I was done with church. I was done with God, and I didn't want my so-called salvation. I remember one night sitting on the hood of my car, looking at the night sky. I told God that he could have my salvation back. I didn't need it anymore. I viewed it as useless! Could you imagine??
Several years went by. I never went back to my former lifestyle, but I did drink a lot. Drinking actually became a big part of my social life. Actually, my personal life too. I remember living back at my parents house, doing nothing but talking to girls online, and drinking all day, being wasted by 6pm. Yep. I was free from drugs, but chained by alcohol.
In 2008, I had decided to still pursue filmmaking, and media work in the secular world. Boy did I have some amazing experiences there! I was finally beginning to become successful, and working on projects ranging from feature films, to commercials. I was quickly becoming a networking guru, putting myself in the right place, at the right time, all the time.
During this season of my life, is when I met my wife. Actually, I had already met her. We grew up together in youth group and high school, but lived in two very separate social circles. We began dating at the end of 2008 and got married May of 2009. I have to say, God's grace is amazing, because I sure didn't deserve her, but she saved my life. (That's right... let's hear a big "awwww". Go ahead. I can't hear you anyways... haha.) I remember our second date, when she told me I was going to church with her. I wanted to impress her, and make a good impression, so I cheerfully (yet begrudgingly) went along.
I had never seen anything like this church in my life. It had all the right things I liked from my former church that I worked at, with a gimmick-free sermon, and a Pastor I really began to learn a lot from. This whole time, I had been hearing whispers from God saying "I'm not through with you yet... follow me." I was thinking, "Yes, great, but uh, follow you where exactly??" I wanted a job at our home church, but the opportunity never presented itself. In due time, he opened doors to allow me to begin working in ministry again, only at a different church. Really? I was back in the land of the Baptist. I was happy, but something just right. Eventually my Wife found a Producer job posting on our home church's website. I was ecstatic! So for the past six months I've been working as a Producer at our home church, and having the time of my life creating amazing works of visual art. I've been forging new friendships and we even joined a hometeam, but something still wasn't right. I still felt empty and out of place. "What was my deal??", I thought. "How can I work in an environment like this, and feel out of place at times?"
The answer was made clear this weekend. Our Senior Pastor was beginning his new series and his message was about Salvation. One of the lines that really resounded within me was when he said "You can be a good person, you can do great works, you can even work in ministry. But if you haven't given God TOTAL commitment, when you die, Jesus will say "Depart. I never knew you." I was floored. Could I really have been unsaved this whole time? Did I really just dip my toe in the water, instead of diving in as deep as I can and become fully immersed? I re-dedicated my life to the Lord this past weekend, and I can't begin to describe how overwhelmed I was with a sense of peace. Here I was sitting with my wife, and my in-laws, yet I was too terrified to go forward. I felt convicted for not going up. The Bible says "If you can't confess me to your brother, I will deny you to my Father." So what better public place (other than at church) to share this with? One of our lifegroup leader tonight made a great analogy that salvation to her is like an Ocean. You can either sit on the shore and watch other people enjoy the water, or maybe you might even dive in, swim around a little and then sit on the shore. But it is when you dive in, and swim as far as you can to the point of exhaustion, and almost drown, that you realize God is there to save you. That's his grace. That is the theme to my salvation blog.
I'll end this with one final thought. Have you noticed that if you took a poll and asked people, "If you could ask God one question, what would it be?" that most people would say, what is the secret of life? Many theologists, scientists, and others would say that that's impossible to know, but it's really simple. Are you ready?
The secret to life, is having a true relationship with God.
Pretty simple right? It's a FREE gift, that anyone in the world can get. The only catch is that there has to be TOTAL committment. You have to die to oneself, to be born again. John 3:3 says "Most assuredly I say to you, unless one is born again, he cannot enter the kingdom of God.
I'll end this like I'll end each of my entries, with a prayer. If you want to know how you can get the sand out of your shorts and dive headfirst into the deep end of the ocean, it's simple. Pray this prayer out loud.
"Dear Heavenly Father, thank you so much for sending your Son to die on the cross for us. I know I'm a sinner, but I ask that you will come into my life and make me whole again. My desire is that you would come and dwell in my soul, and I desire to live how you would have me live. I surrender my will to you Lord, and give you total commitment. I will follow you, and seek a relationship with you for all the days of my life. I pray these things in your Holy name, Amen."
If you prayed that prayer, please contact someone at your church to help you take the next steps. Nothing you could ever choose in life is more important than this one. My question to you right now, is who are you? Are you the one sitting on the shore? Or maybe you have already had a nice swim, and now you're sitting on the shore watching everyone else have fun in the water. My encouragement to you, is to join me in the deep end. There's plenty of us out here to keep you afloat.
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